This is a post that is going to steer away from the world of sports, basketball and other relatively meaningless items in life, as the lives of my beloved wife and myself has taken a very cruel turn.
Last week, Alex went to the doctor for what we thought would be a routine mammogram. She noticed a lump on her breast and being as young as she is, we thought it was just a cyst or fatty tissue. Never in my life have I ever hated being as wrong as I was that day. She had a biopsy done right away when the mammogram showed some abnormalities. The next day, our world caved in as she was told that she has breast cancer that has spread to one of her lymph nodes.
Being that Alex is only 32, this came as a total shock to us. Alex is healthy, eats well, exercises on a regular basis and is generally in excellent health. She doesn't smoke, rarely drinks and does not have any history of cancer in her family. Again, "shock" is still what we are feeling right now as it has only been nine days since her diagnosis.
Two days later, we were at Jacksonville's Baptist Medical Center meeting with the team of doctors that will be taking care of her throughout this ordeal. We met with the nurse/case manager, the surgeon, medical oncologist and the radiation guy. (What his title is just isn't coming to me right now.) What all three of them agreed on is that she is going to need a mastectomy, 18-20 weeks of chemotherapy and six weeks of radiation. The surgeon also ordered a full body scan to ensure that the cancer has not spread to other parts of her body, mainly her liver.
Right now, the full range of emotions are going through our heads. Why is this happening to her? What did Alex do to deserve getting this cruel disease? What happens next? Can we have kids? More importantly, what is her chance of survival? We know the odds are much better now than they would have been even five years ago. The advances in medical technology and knowledge are so much greater than they were in the past. The tests are more precise, the doctors are better trained, and in the case of Baptist their team approach is something that puts everyone on the same page. At least we don't have one doctor saying to get a lumpectomy, one saying she needs radiation with another saying she doesn't. The team has come to the conclusion as to what type of treatment she needs and that will be the most effective.
Last night, the reality of the situation started to set in for Alex. She was looking at the pathology reports and noticed that the levels in her liver were a bit higher than they should be. This of course had her mind spinning out of control thinking the cancer had spread to her liver, that she is going to die from this, and Alex being Alex was wondering if she would be able to keep her job when this is all said and done. Meanwhile I am trying to stay positive but with some of the same thoughts entering my own head. I of course want to know what the chances of survival are and just what kind of hell she will be going through both physically and emotionally.
I am happy to know that Alex's mother will be flying in from Vermont for the surgery and will be here for as long as we need her. Surgery is expected to take place during the first week of June with at least a two week recovery period. Ports will have to be changed, bandages changed, fluid drained and all of the fun things that neither of us thought we would ever need to do. The thing I am afraid of is what Alex's reaction is going to be when she sees for the first time that one of her breasts is no longer there. This is something that I can only equate to someone losing a limb, but I think in this case it could be worse. A woman's breasts are part of her identity and part of her vanity. I know that Alex doesn't want to look different or be looked at as "a freak of nature". (Her words, not mine) Personally, I know that if anyone even looks at her funny they will have to deal with me. Mess with Alex and pay the price.
There have been light moments to this ordeal. One of the things that Alex said when she was first diagnosed was, "Hey, there is a good side to all of this: I get new hair AND new boobs!!" I swear, only Alex would think something like that. We had a good laugh when I told her that when her hair starts falling out I would be shaving my head. She said, "If you do that I will not be seen in public with you!!"
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